Proven Simple Steps to Create Lasting Joy in Your Life

By Phil Poole

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." ~Carl Jung

Are you seeking more joy in your life, especially when external circumstances feel overwhelming? Many believe happiness is found in new places or possessions, but the most profound contentment often begins within. This article reveals simple steps to create lasting joy by turning your focus inward, even amidst challenges. By embracing mindfulness, reconnecting with past passions, and exploring new experiences, you can cultivate a deeply fulfilling life.

In 2018, faced with a failing relationship, a toxic job, and severe illness in a new city, the easy choice for me would have been to move back to London. Yet, a deeper intuition halted me. I sensed that returning would merely be a distraction, allowing me to ignore the profound internal shifts I needed to make. This pivotal decision, though daunting, became the catalyst for a truly transformative journey.

The Inner Journey: Why External Solutions Fall Short
Step 1: Cultivating Mindfulness in the Present Moment
Step 2: Reconnecting with Past Sources of Happiness
Step 3: Embracing New Experiences and Exploration
The Transformative Power of Intentional Joy

The Inner Journey: Why External Solutions Fall Short

My initial move to Berlin was an attempt to outrun parts of myself, to choose only certain aspects of my identity while neglecting others. I believed a new relationship or a different career would solve my underlying dissatisfaction. The reality was a deep-seated boredom with a successful international executive career that no longer ignited my passion. This realization was uncomfortable; it meant confronting an internal void rather than blaming external factors.

Many of us navigate life like an explorer in a strange, dark world, holding a single, small light. We desperately try to pierce the vast darkness, hoping to glimpse the distant mountains and valleys that represent our true identity, our joys, and our sorrows. Yet, no matter how high we raise our light, the darkness remains. We focus so much on what we can't see that we neglect the rich, complex landscape directly within our illuminated circle.

This illuminated circle, the immediate present, holds valuable clues about our inner world. Instead of striving to understand everything at once, we can begin by observing the "lumps of rock" and "small streams" right in front of us. By focusing on what's visible, by taking one simple step to create clarity, we gradually explore our hidden landscape. This approach acknowledges that while our body is familiar, our thoughts and emotions often feel like uncharted territory. Trying to force a breakthrough into the darkness is exhausting and ineffective. The path to understanding who we are and what truly brings us joy lies in patiently observing and engaging with what is immediately accessible. This is one of the most straightforward simple steps to create a deeper connection with your authentic self. It allows for organic discovery rather than a forced revelation, ultimately leading to a more profound sense of self-awareness and contentment.

Step 1: Cultivating Mindfulness in the Present Moment

To begin exploring your inner world, the first crucial step is to cultivate mindfulness, even when circumstances are far from ideal. During my challenging time in Berlin, my workplace was incredibly toxic. Colleagues were frequently angry or tearful, and I even faced attempts to sabotage my work. Despite this hostile environment, I started to notice unexpected moments of joy. I discovered immense satisfaction in speaking with individuals one-on-one, offering support and guidance to those eager to grow. This seemingly small observation was a profound revelation: a core part of me thrives on connecting with and serving others, a foundational seed of my life's purpose.

Ignoring what we dislike is easy, but often, hidden "gold" resides within these difficult periods. Being mindful of both the good and the bad allows us to unearth vital insights. For instance, consider how often we overlook small moments of beauty or peace in our daily routines. A new example might be finding joy in the precise ritual of brewing your morning coffee, savoring the aroma and warmth before the day's demands begin. Or perhaps it's the quiet satisfaction of a short walk through a local park, noticing the changing seasons and the simple beauty of nature. These seemingly insignificant moments, when approached with mindfulness, can become powerful anchors of joy.

Beyond work, I realized I wasn't utilizing my beautiful balcony, distracted by all that was going wrong. Berlin summers, even rainy ones, offer a unique, humid richness. One evening, a neighbor's joyful singing in the rain brought a smile to my face. This prompted me to buy a chair and simply be on my balcony, meditating or watching inspiring TED Talks. This intentional pause, this act of allowing myself to simply exist without distraction, was a powerful simple step to create self-understanding. Research from institutions like Harvard (2024) consistently highlights how mindfulness practices can significantly reduce stress and enhance overall well-being by anchoring us in the present, helping us to identify and appreciate genuine sources of happiness rather than being swept away by external pressures or digital distractions.

Step 2: Reconnecting with Past Sources of Happiness

Modern society often pressures us to prioritize career advancement, accumulating wealth, and acquiring the latest material possessions, from new smartphones to trending gadgets. While these pursuits can offer fleeting satisfaction, they rarely deliver deep, lasting joy. True joy is often a short-lived emotion, felt most intensely when we are fully engaged in an activity we love. If we're constantly distracted or focused on external markers of success, we risk becoming disconnected from these genuine wellsprings of happiness. To combat this, we must actively seek to rediscover our lost joys.

Part of this rediscovery can happen through mindfulness in the present, as discussed in Step 1. However, we can also actively "mine" for past joys. A powerful technique involves reflecting on your childhood and teenage years. What activities did you genuinely love? Did you abandon any of these passions due to societal pressure, feeling too busy, or even shame? For example, I used to adore building with Legos and immersing myself in Star Trek lore, but often faced ridicule from family and friends. As an adult, I wrongly assumed Legos were only for children and gave them up. Now, I proudly buy and assemble Lego sets, finding immense satisfaction in the creative process. Similarly, many adults rediscover a childhood love for drawing, playing a musical instrument, or exploring nature, realizing these were profound sources of creative expression and peace.

Beyond literally revisiting old hobbies, we can reframe childhood passions into adult pursuits. I loved writing stories as a child. Recognizing this, I realized I could channel that love for writing into my adult life, albeit differently. Today, I write articles that explain concepts and help people, finding immense joy in this act of service and communication. This transformation is a powerful simple step to create new avenues for happiness. Reconnecting with these past joys helps us reclaim parts of ourselves that were always there, often leading to a profound sense of self-discovery. Many individuals who believe they aren't creative are astonished to find a vibrant creative spirit when they revisit the activities that sparked their imagination in youth. This process isn't about living in the past but about integrating those authentic elements into a richer, more joyful present.

Step 3: Embracing New Experiences and Exploration

The final, invigorating step in cultivating joy is to actively embrace new and often random experiences. Think of it as "throwing things at the wall" to see what sticks, what sparks your interest, and what leads you down unexpected paths. This approach encourages curiosity and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone, revealing hidden preferences and passions you might never have discovered otherwise. It's a proactive and simple step to create a more dynamic and fulfilling life, expanding your personal landscape beyond the familiar.

My own journey provided a compelling example of this. I stumbled upon an advertisement for a "spirit journey" workshop at a local center in Berlin. My initial thought was that such experiences belonged in remote rainforests, not around the corner from my apartment. Yet, a spontaneous thought of "Why not try it?" led me to sign up. The experience was fantastic and, more importantly, it opened doors to other mainstream events at the center, from potluck dinners to workshops focused on finding one's purpose. This single random decision was instrumental in helping me build a new social network and a sense of community in Berlin, something I desperately needed after my relationship ended.

Consider trying something completely novel. Perhaps it's a cooking class specializing in an unfamiliar cuisine, volunteering for a cause you've always admired, or even taking up a new language. These aren't just activities; they are opportunities for self-discovery. A new example might be joining a local hiking group, even if you've never considered yourself an outdoorsy person. The fresh air, the physical challenge, and the camaraderie with fellow hikers could unveil an unexpected love for nature and community. Another could be attending a local open mic night, not necessarily to perform, but to simply experience a different form of creative expression and connect with local artists. Make a conscious effort to note which experiences you genuinely enjoy and which you dislike. This feedback loop is invaluable; it provides concrete data about your evolving tastes, values, and what truly resonates with your spirit. By consistently trying new things, you are actively participating in the ongoing process of discovering who you are and what brings you authentic joy. This continuous exploration is a fundamental, simple step to create a life rich with meaning and personal growth.

The Transformative Power of Intentional Joy

The year 2017 was undeniably one of the hardest periods of my life, pushing me to my absolute limits. However, the decision to stay in Berlin and commit to understanding my inner world--that dark, hidden landscape--proved to be one of the most impactful choices I've ever made. It was a commitment to take simple steps to create a life aligned with my true self, rather than one dictated by external pressures or past expectations.

This deliberate journey of self-exploration led me to uncover my genuine passions and envision the kind of life I truly desired. I eventually transitioned away from a high-earning corporate career to focus entirely on these newfound passions. Just recently, I returned from a "workcation" in the sun, a stark contrast to the bleak Berlin winter I once endured, and the daily sense of dread that used to accompany my mornings has completely vanished. This profound shift underscores the power of internal transformation.

My journey is far from over; making these fundamental changes has, in fact, revealed even more uncharted territories within myself. While these new parts of my world still await exploration, I now possess the tools and the mindset to navigate them. I've discovered impressive internal mountains to rest upon and amazing inner oceans to sail, making my life immeasurably more fulfilling. The pursuit of joy isn't a destination but a continuous process of discovery and integration. It's about consistently taking those simple steps to create a life that authentically reflects who you are, leading to profound contentment and purpose. How about you? Are you ready to begin exploring your own hidden world and cultivate a life filled with intentional joy? The journey begins now!.