If you've ever found yourself feeling unexpectedly sad or overwhelmed on what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation, you're not alone. It's a common experience, and learning how to be sad on vacation without letting it derail your entire trip is a valuable skill for emotional well-being. This guide will help you navigate those challenging moments, offering practical strategies to process difficult emotions while still finding pockets of peace and connection.
The Uninvited Guests: Trauma and Expectations on Holiday
We often plan vacations with a mental checklist of desired outcomes: relaxation, connection, escape from daily stressors. But as anyone who has traveled knows, life doesn't always pause just because you've changed your location. Our internal landscapes, including unresolved trauma and deeply ingrained emotional patterns, tend to travel with us (Pietrzak et al., 2021). This was certainly true for my partner, Jett, and me. Despite leaving behind chores and daily responsibilities, we brought our own raw emotional states, amplified by ongoing therapy for childhood trauma.
The reality of our trip quickly became apparent. Jet lag, miscommunications about plans, and chronic pain exacerbated by cramped airplane seats created a perfect storm. The initial goal of finding a simple solution for anxiety--CBD--turned into a stressful ordeal. The inability to find parking and the subsequent conversation about me waiting alone in the car at night, in an unfamiliar place where I didn't speak the language, triggered a deep-seated fear related to my C-PTSD. The feeling of not being kept safe, a core issue I was actively working through, surfaced intensely.
This experience led to a moment of profound sadness and a feeling of isolation. Tears flowed, not just from exhaustion and unmet expectations, but from the raw vulnerability of feeling unsafe and uncared for. It's a stark reminder that even on vacation, our emotional needs for safety and understanding remain paramount. The internal dialogue can be harsh, whispering doubts and fears that can feel all-consuming.
Universal Echoes: The Comfort of Shared Human Experience
The morning after the initial emotional breakdown, as I watched the sunrise over the ocean, a profound shift occurred. Sitting alone in a cabana, while my partner slept off exhaustion, I began to visualize others who had sat in similar places, experiencing their own moments of sorrow. I pictured an elderly woman with tears on her face, a defeated man staring at the waves, a child crying by the sea, and a heartbroken bride.
These weren't necessarily real people, but the act of imagining them--all the individuals throughout time and across the globe who have found themselves crying by the ocean--created a powerful sense of connection. It highlighted the universal nature of pain and sadness. This realization, that my feelings were not unique but part of a shared human experience, brought an unexpected sense of comfort and goosebumps. It's a testament to how acknowledging our vulnerability can paradoxically lead to a deeper sense of belonging (Brown, 2012).
This moment didn't erase the difficulties of the trip, but it reframed them. We continued to have challenging conversations, and both of us shed tears. My partner's insomnia persisted, a reminder that not all problems can be solved with a change of scenery. We experienced ten days of both beauty and struggle, understanding that leaving our tasks behind doesn't mean leaving our problems behind.
Ten Ways to Navigate Sadness When It Appears
Vacations are rarely one-dimensional. They are often a blend of joy, challenge, and unexpected emotional turns. If you find yourself feeling sad on vacation, remember that it's okay. Here are ten strategies to help you move through these feelings with grace:
Embrace the View: Find a natural vista--the sea, mountains, a canyon--and contemplate the countless others who have sought solace there before you. Let the vastness offer perspective.
Surrender to the Elements: Allow the weather, whether rain, sun, or snow, to wash over you. Engage your senses--smell the sea salt, feel the breeze. Let nature be a gentle, grounding presence.
Radical Acceptance: If your vacation isn't unfolding as planned, practice radical acceptance. Acknowledge the reality of the situation without judgment. This doesn't mean liking it, but it means not fighting against what is. Find a new focus for the trip--perhaps the local wildlife, a new skill, or simply observing daily life (Hayes et al., 2011).
Allow Laughter: Be open to moments of unexpected joy or humor. Laughing doesn't negate your sadness; it simply coexists. It's a reminder that life contains a spectrum of emotions, and finding humor can be a powerful coping mechanism.
Seek Connection: If loneliness creeps in, look for opportunities to connect with fellow travelers. Shared experiences, even brief ones, can create a sense of camaraderie and reduce feelings of isolation.
Embrace Adventure (Safely): Sometimes, a little adrenaline can be a powerful antidote to sadness. Trying something new, like a local cooking class or exploring a nearby town, can remind you of your vitality and capacity for new experiences.
Express Your Emotions: Find healthy outlets for your feelings. This could be crying, journaling, drawing, or even physical activity like running or dancing. Releasing pent-up emotions is crucial for processing them (Grotstein, 2007).
Prioritize Basic Needs: Don't underestimate the impact of sleep and nutrition. Jet lag, poor eating habits, and lack of sleep can significantly worsen mood. Make an effort to eat nourishing food and rest as much as possible.
Stay Present: Practice mindfulness by focusing on your current surroundings and experiences. Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future can amplify sadness. Engage fully with the 'now' (Kabat-Zinn, 2013).
Model Emotional Honesty for Children: If traveling with kids, it's okay to show them that adults experience a range of emotions. Demonstrating healthy ways to manage sadness can be a valuable life lesson for them. Utilize breaks like kids' clubs to recharge.
Ultimately, just as the vacation will pass, so too will periods of intense sadness. Life is a continuous flow of all emotions. By learning how to be sad on vacation and integrating these feelings rather than resisting them, we can foster resilience and a deeper appreciation for the full spectrum of our human experience. Remember, acceptance of all feelings is key to navigating life's inevitable ups and downs.
