According to recent research by Common Sense Media, the average child today has nearly 1,300 photos of themselves posted online by their parents before their 13th birthday, often without their explicit consent (Common Sense Media, 2023). This staggering statistic highlights a modern parenting dilemma: 'sharenting.' This phenomenon, a blend of 'sharing' and 'parenting,' involves parents posting news, photos, and personal details about their children on social media platforms. While often born from love and a desire to connect, it raises a crucial question: how much information is truly too much?
The line between heartwarming updates and overexposure is increasingly blurred. When parental sharing compromises a child's privacy, future opportunities, or their fundamental trust and autonomy, it crosses into problematic territory. Understanding the profound impact of 'sharenting': how it shapes a child's digital footprint and personal development, is essential for every modern parent. This comprehensive guide explores the motivations behind parental sharing, delves into the significant concerns it raises, and offers practical strategies for navigating the digital landscape responsibly.
Understanding the Rise of 'Sharenting'
The practice of sharing children's lives online has become ubiquitous, evolving rapidly from private photo albums to public social media feeds. This shift is not merely technological; it reflects changing social norms and parental desires in an increasingly connected world.
What is Sharenting?
Coined around 2012, 'sharenting' describes the habitual use of social media by parents to share information about their children. What once involved close-knit family and friends viewing physical photo albums or receiving occasional updates, now encompasses a vast, often public, audience. This digital evolution means that a child's entire life story, from their first steps to school achievements, can be meticulously documented and broadcast long before they have any say in the matter (Brosch, 2016).
Why Parents Share Online
Parents' motivations for sharenting are diverse and often deeply personal. For many, it's a natural extension of traditional parenting, a way to celebrate milestones and keep loved ones informed. Research indicates that new parents, in particular, find solace and connection through sharenting, alleviating the social isolation that can accompany early parenthood. Positive feedback, such as 'likes' and supportive comments, can also validate their parenting efforts and foster a sense of community (Kumar & Schoenebeck, 2015).
Beyond the early years, parents of adolescents often share to express pride in their children's accomplishments or to simply keep distant family and friends updated. The ability to maintain these connections across geographical distances is a significant positive aspect of sharenting for many families, strengthening social bonds in an increasingly mobile world.
The Complex Impact of 'Sharenting': How Much is Too Much?
Despite the positive intentions, the impact of 'sharenting': how it affects children, their privacy, and their future is a growing concern among experts. The digital footprints created by parents can have unforeseen and long-lasting consequences.
Privacy Risks and Digital Security
One of the most immediate dangers of sharenting is the erosion of a child's privacy. Studies reveal that a significant number of parents inadvertently overshare, even disclosing sensitive health information (Walrave et al., 2022). Revealing identifying details like a child's full name, birthdate, or home address, especially when combined with other publicly available data, creates vulnerabilities. For instance, a seemingly innocent photo of a child in their school uniform, with the school logo clearly visible, could inadvertently reveal their educational institution and daily routine to strangers (Digital Wellness Institute, 2024).
This oversharing can lead to serious risks, including identity theft. A child's identity could be stolen and used for fraudulent activities long before they are old enough to establish their own credit history. Furthermore, the seemingly innocuous photos or anecdotes shared today could become sources of embarrassment or even negatively influence future opportunities. Colleges and employers increasingly review applicants' online presence, meaning a parent's past posts could impact a child's prospects years down the line (Haley, 2020).
Beyond these concerns, excessive sharing can also blur the lines between trusted individuals and strangers for young children. If a child encounters someone who seems to know them intimately due to parental posts, they might mistakenly believe this person is an acquaintance, potentially leading them to trust individuals who pose a threat.
Shaping Digital Identity and Development
By the age of two, a vast majority of children already have an online presence, primarily through their parents' activities. This means their digital identity begins forming long before they have the cognitive capacity to understand or consent to it. The impact of 'sharenting': how it shapes a child's nascent sense of self, is a critical area of ongoing research.
If parents share embarrassing or inappropriate content, it can make children vulnerable to bullying or ridicule from peers. Imagine a parent posting a video of their toddler's comical potty training struggles; while endearing to family, this content could resurface years later, causing immense humiliation for a teenager and potentially impacting their self-esteem (Parenting Today, 2023). This fear of embarrassment, or the reality of it, can significantly affect a child's development and their perception of who they are.
During adolescence, children actively experiment with self-presentation and identity formation, especially online. When parents have already established a public persona for their child, it can clash with the identity adolescents are trying to cultivate. This conflict can hinder their sense of individuality and independence, leading to friction and resentment. If the online image created by parents contradicts a child's desired self-image, it can lead to a breakdown of trust, causing adolescents to withhold information from their parents to regain control over their digital narrative (Ouvrein & Verswijvel, 2019).
Strained Parent-Child Relationships
The act of sharenting, when done without consideration for the child's privacy or feelings, can erode the foundational trust between parent and child. Children, especially as they mature, increasingly value their autonomy and the right to control their personal story. When parents share sensitive information, such as details about a child's health issues or academic struggles, without their consent, it can be perceived as a profound betrayal.
Consider a scenario where a parent posts about a private family health issue, perhaps a sibling's chronic illness, in detail online without discussing it with their children first. This could lead to feelings of exposure and resentment, making children less likely to confide in their parents about personal matters in the future (Mayo Clinic, 2023). This violation of trust can have lasting repercussions on the parent-child bond, fostering a sense of caution and secrecy rather than openness.
Navigating Sharenting Responsibly
While the risks are real, it is possible to engage in sharenting in a thoughtful and responsible manner. By understanding the nuanced impact of 'sharenting': how it affects children at different developmental stages, parents can make more informed choices that prioritize their child's well-being.
Before You Post: A Critical Checklist
- What is your goal in sharing? Is it to connect with family, celebrate a milestone, or seek validation? Be honest with yourself.
- Who will see the post? Consider your audience. Is it a small, trusted group or a broad, public network?
- Would you worry if the post is seen by the wrong person? If there's any hesitation, it's a red flag.
- Is this information negative, critical, or overly revealing? Avoid sharing anything that could embarrass your child, detail health concerns, or highlight behavioral frustrations. This is a fundamental violation of their privacy.
If any of these questions raise concerns, consider alternative ways to share. A private text chain with close family or a secure, invite-only photo album can offer connection without the broad exposure of public social media. If seeking support for parenting challenges that require discussing sensitive topics, explore anonymous online support groups where you can share without compromising your child's identity.
Fostering Open Communication
As children grow, their capacity to understand and express their preferences regarding online sharing increases. Parents should:
- Seek Consent: Once your child is old enough to comprehend the implications of online sharing, always ask for their permission before posting. Explain what you plan to share and who will see it, and respect their wishes if they decline.
- Offer Alternatives: If your child is uncomfortable with a public post but you still want to share with a close individual, ask if they would be okay with a private message or text.
- Apologize and Rebuild Trust: If you inadvertently share something that upsets your child, apologize sincerely. Use it as an opportunity to model good behavior, acknowledge your mistake, and discuss how to prevent it in the future. You might even delete the post together, demonstrating respect for their feelings.
- Have Ongoing Conversations: Initiate age-appropriate discussions about digital privacy and the permanence of online content. For younger children, explain that the internet is seen by many people, emphasizing the importance of privacy and safety. With older children, delve into more specific concerns like digital reputation, online predators, and the long-term implications of their (and your) online presence.
Protecting Digital Boundaries
Active steps can be taken to safeguard your child's digital footprint:
- Don't Overshare: This rule is paramount throughout your child's life. As they approach adolescence and begin forming their own identities, progressively reduce the amount and intimacy of what you post about them.
- Never Use Full Names or Identifying Details: Strictly avoid sharing your child's full name, home address, school, specific locations they frequent, or any other information that could be used by malicious actors.
- Utilize Privacy Settings: While not foolproof, leverage the privacy settings on all social media platforms to control who sees your posts. Opt for the most restrictive settings possible for content involving your children.
The Future of Digital Parenting
The landscape of sharenting is constantly evolving, with new platforms and privacy challenges emerging regularly. As technology progresses, so too must our understanding and adaptation as parents. The children of the 'sharenting' generation are now reaching adulthood, and their experiences will undoubtedly shape future norms and perhaps even legal frameworks around digital privacy. Ongoing research will continue to shed light on the long-term psychological and social impact of 'sharenting': how it influences identity, relationships, and well-being in an increasingly connected world.
Final Thoughts on Ethical Sharing
The allure of sharing our children's lives online is powerful, driven by love, pride, and the desire for connection. However, the responsibility to protect their digital future is even greater. By adopting a mindful approach to sharenting - prioritizing privacy, seeking consent, and engaging in open dialogue - parents can navigate this complex terrain. The goal is not to eliminate sharing, but to cultivate a culture of thoughtful, ethical sharing that empowers children to eventually control their own digital narratives, ensuring their online presence is a reflection of their choosing, not merely an echo of their parents' past posts.
